Posted in 2010-2019, Film Review

Cats (2019)

Image is property of Universal, Working Title and Amblin Entertainment

Cats – Film Review

Cast: Francesca Hayward, Judi Dench, Jason Derulo, Idris Elba, Jennifer Hudson, James Corden, Ian McKellen, Taylor Swift, Rebel Wilson

Director: Tom Hooper

Synopsis: A group of Cats known as the Jellicles come together to make a decision known as “the Jellicle choice,” a decision that will give one lucky cat an exciting new opportunity to start life anew….

Review: It was almost an event unto itself. Back in July this year, a trailer landed onto the internet, but this was no ordinary trailer, it was something much more horrifying, this being the trailer for Cats. Quickly becoming this overnight, much talked about sensation, but for all the wrong reasons. The collective claws of the internet came out and the film became the subject of much ridicule and being the butt (or should that be tail) of so many internet jokes, it seemed completely dead on arrival. It should come as no surprise to learn that it is a complete furry cat-astrophe.

The plot, if you can really call it that, is focused on a group of cats known as the Jellicle cats. An abandoned cat, Victoria (Hayward) is found by the group and they take her in. Every year, the leader of this group must make the Jellicle choice, a decision which will give one lucky cat the chance to start a new life. The big problem is this “plot” only comes into view about two thirds of the way through the film. For the first two thirds, a bunch of rather famous people take it in turns to sing a song. It almost feels screenwriter Lee Hall and writer/director Tom Hooper were playing with a proverbial ball of string before they realised they needed to have a plot, of some kind.

You’ll never look at your cat the same way ever again…

The only actor who can really take any sort of credit for their performance is that of newcomer Francesca Hayward, as she shows glimpses of her talent as a singer and a performer. Yet, in a cast filled to the brim with so much talent, you expect so much better considering the calibre of the likes of Judi Dench, Ian McKellen and Idris Elba. The most fundamental job for a musical is to have good music, and there are a couple of strong performances to be found. Jennifer Hudson’s rendition of “Memory” is impactful and “Beautiful Ghosts” written by Taylor Swift and Andrew Lloyd Webber certainly has some touching moments about it. The rest of the music is perfectly fine, but beyond those two songs, it is all just very generic and forgettable.

But what’s unfortunately not so forgettable, is the visuals, and more specifically the look of the actors in these bizarre concoctions of “cat-suits”. While certain elements such as the fur look at least somewhat plausible, overall they most assuredly don’t look completely look like cats, but nor are they human. It is the most peculiar hybrid that is guaranteed to invade your nightmares. The very fact that at times you can quite clearly see their human fingers, and other human like features is just comically inept and extremely distracting. Seemingly no effort whatsoever has been made to modify the appearances of the actors to make them even vaguely look feline. Their hands don’t look like paws, and their human noses are extremely noticeable. It’s just a gigantic mess.

Given that such high calibre films like The King’s Speech, and the 2012 version of Les Misérables on his CV, one would really expect better of Tom Hooper to try and make this musical adaptation translate to the big screen in a manner that is not inherently horrifying. Yet in spite of some visually splendid production design, this monstrosity proves that not everything translates to the big screen. This adaptation is one that should have stayed on the scratchpad of ideas, where it deserved to remain, eventually to be scratched into oblivion where it belongs. Someone should have paws-ed for thought before green-lighting this thing, but they didn’t, and this nightmare came to fruition, which isn’t good news for anyone.

Take away Francesca Hayward’s promising performance, along with a few good songs, and there’s really not that much to salvage from this monstrosity. A furry nightmare of hellish proportions.

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